Poor Communication in Relationships by Dr. Sara Detox Toronto Naturopath

Poor Communication Is A Silent Killer


Are you the type of person that has a hard time communicating when things are bothering you?

Do you let things bottle up until you can no longer hold them in?

Perhaps you’re all too familiar with those moments when you catch somebody off guard by verbally vomiting everything that’s been bothering you.

The other person just stands there speechless – looking at you like a deer caught in headlights.

Poor communication or a lack of communication is not only harmful to personal relationships, family relationships, and work relationships – it’s harmful to your health.

When you bottle things up and don’t communicate your feelings, you are hurting yourself more than anything.

Here’s what’s happening in your body.

You are releasing a hormone called cortisol – a steroid hormone in the glucocorticoid class of hormones, that is produced by the adrenal glands which sit on top of your kidneys.

When this hormone is overproduced (as a result of frustration that isn’t released), it can increase your risk of chronic fatigue, irritable bowel syndrome (IBS), depression, anxiety, and heart disease.

Did I mention abdominal obesity, diabetes, and inflammation?

There are three steps that you can take to overcome poor communication and reduce the release of this powerful hormone.

1. Identify “why” you’re afraid to communicate.

Many people fear communicating openly because they don’t want to disturb the peace, they fear the other person’s reaction, or they truly believe that the problem will resolve eventually. Sometimes it does, but most of the time a person is simply suppressing their problems and burying the emotions deeper.

Time and time again, people learn the hard way that problems don’t resolve on their own. Communication is key.

2. Recognize “the feeling” of relief and satisfaction when you let your emotions out.

Most people agree that once they “talk things out”, it feels as though a heavy weight has been lifted off their body.

Perhaps it’s time to stop saying “I’m okay, everything is fine” when you’re really not.

Getting to the root of the problem as quickly as possible is the only way to resolve what’s bothering you. Think about how light you’ll feel once you talk out your concerns.

3. Improve “the way” that you communicate.

Many people avoid communication because they don’t like fighting, arguing, or being around negative, toxic energy. However, what they fail to realize is that communication does not cause unpleasant situations – poor communication does.

Rather than blaming others, try a different approach.

Avoid starting your sentences with “you said, you did, I can’t believe you would….”

If you want a different outcome, you’ve got to change the language that you use when communicating.

Say things like:

  • “I feel”
  • “I noticed that”
  • “I’m concerned about”
  • “I’m trying to communicate better”
  • “This is not easy for me”

Rather than pointing fingers, simply share what’s bothering you. Others will be much more receptive to this approach.

Holding what you’re feeling inside disturbs your inner peace.

Remember that not communicating your feelings will affect your overall health and well-being. Besides creating unhealthy distance in your relationships, it may cause changes in your sleep, your appetite, and your mood.

Not only that, with increased cortisol circulating in your system, you’ll weaken your immune system, decrease your metabolism, reduce the absorption of vitamins/minerals, and increase the risk of developing chronic health problems.

Cheers to healthy communication and expressing your feelings!


Dr. Sara
Dr. Sara Celik is a Canadian licensed Naturopathic Doctor with 15+ years of experience serving patients in Ontario. She is a sought-after speaker and passionate leader in the Health & Wellness industry carrying a wealth of experience in the field of integrative medicine.

Dr. Sara has appeared on multiple radio shows/podcasts, the W Network, Breakfast Television and CP24. For almost 5 years, she worked as the National Spokesperson for a well-known digestive wellness brand, educating across the globe on gut health. Dr. Sara has been named a rising star in Canada receiving the Generation Next award for her outstanding contribution to shaping the future of Canada’s grocery industry. She frequently contributes to large publications and has been published in Best Health Magazine, The Globe and Mail, Sweat Equity, Grocery Business, Inside Fitness, Canadian Living, Elevate, HELLO, and ELLE Canada.

Dr. Sara’s approach to healthcare is not as easy as taking a pill. The “quick-fix” approach is not one she subscribes to. While there’s a pill for just about everything, rarely do prescription drugs stop the course of disease - they merely mask symptoms. Dr. Sara believes true health requires a commitment from both the doctor and the patient.

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